Monkey See, Monkey Do??? Helping Our Kids Develop Healthy Coping Skills

We are all familiar with the phrase "Monkey see, monkey do", but most of the time we use it when referring to the cute things our kids do. Like caring for their dolls the way they see their mom's caring for their younger sisters and brothers, or pretending to fix something like the way they see their dad's fix something. However, have you ever stopped and thought about this phrase in more depth? How does this phrase ring true in regard to kids witnessing the way adults in their lives respond to stress and struggles in their lives?

When adults respond to such things in negative ways, such as yelling, losing their tempers, hitting/throwing things or other people, calling others names, swearing, etc. our kids begin to recognize these responses as normal ways to deal with their own stress and the conflicts they experience in their own lives. This, then, often leads to the bullying behaviors that occur with their friends and classmates at school, on the playground, on the bus, etc. And, as studies indicate, kids who bully are much more likely to struggle academically, use drugs or alcohol, vandalize property, and (in the long run) are at higher risk of ending up in prison by the age of 24.

To help our kids develop into young adults who are able to respond to common issues that arise in their everyday lives in positive and healthy ways, and to protect them from becoming one of the statistics mentioned above, we need to model the behaviors we want them to exhibit. We need to give them good examples of how to practice patience, anger management, stress management and to control impulses that have the potential to get them into trouble.

The article found at the link below provides more on this issue. Although it focuses on stress related to the economic struggles many are facing, it can relate to all situations and/or events that can cause stress in the lives of adults and their families. I hope you will take a few minutes to check it out.

http://www.standuptobullying.net/education/media/TweenParent.com_EconomicTroubles_StressatHomeBullyingatSchool.pdf